Parents are very influential in every life. They are the people that you look up to, and trust more than anyone else in the world. That seems to be the case for most people, except me.  I was an only child until I was four years old.  I remember how much fun my dad and I used to have.  I remember specifically on the first and last Friday of every month my dad and I would go fishing and go to get ice cream afterwards. My mom and I would go out for manicures and pedicures every Saturday morning, but all too soon that changed.

My brother was born December 30.  I didn’t know it that day, but my life changed. Soon the weekend fishing trips and spa days turned into weekend doctor visits and “Mommy and Me ” classes. My best friend was no longer there for me. My parents noticed that I was behaving differently so they enrolled me in tons of  extracurricular activities. They kept me distracted for a while until one weekend when my parents decided to have a dinner party.

My mom and dad invited over all of their “close” friends. One of my mom’s co-workers said to her “[My brother] is so cute. He’s much better looking than [I] was as a baby. He’s going to be so successful in life” said my mom’s friend And my mom simply nodded in agreement and continued to play with my then three year old brother. I was in shock that my parents didn’t defend me, but I was in even more shock that someone said something so horrible about me. Growing up I always got the best compliments. People would always tell me how pretty and smart I am.  Little did I know that as my brother got older things for me only got worse. I went from being the golden child to the forgotten one.

By the time my brother was ten he had mastered the art of being adept.  He was the honor student, the bank geek, and was also the most popular guy in school. Everyone stopped paying attention to me and I soon become depressed. My grades started slipping as I slowly faded away into the background of my brother’s life.

My teachers started noticing that something was off about me, so they brought it up to my parents and I was then enrolled into counseling. Although, my parents went to counseling with me nothing changed at home. I continued to be the non-existent thing in the room. This went on for several years. Eventually my brother could no longer handle the pressure of being the perfect child, and he began to slowly decline from his high pedestal.

My brother then started becoming overwhelmed with anxiety and soon had to go to the doctor. That is when my parents finally understood what they were doing to us. Finally after all of those years they could see that there is no such thing as a “perfect child.” Someone had suggested that we do family counseling, so we gave it a try again and this time I could see a change. For the first time in years I no longer felt like the “ugly duckling” in the family. I felt apart of it.

     I think its important for parents to understand that what they say and do does affect their children and that you should never make someone feel less worthy.