Don’t Get Us Started: February 2014


Sam Boyd and Farhan Ahmad

  • Elementary students that swear. Stick to the monkeybars, kid.
  • Horoscopes. Why are we still single?
  • Bandwagoners. We didn’t know there were so many Pacers fans in the middle of North Texas.
  • Jars that don’t open.
  • When the weather is cold in the morning and hot in the day. Make up your mind, Texas.
  • Singing competitions. 2004 called and wants its gimmick back.
  • Making eye contact with someone in the hallways but walking by too fast to acknowledge them. We don’t hate you, we promise!
  • When people tweet but don’t text back.
  • When the news interrupts your favorite TV show. We don’t care if there’s a tornado, How I Met Your Mother is on.
  • When surveys ask for our race. Hey, we’re all human.
  • Runny noses. We didn’t ask for a snot Niagara Falls. Keep it together, nose.
  • People who are naturally nice. We’ll have what she’s having.
  • Cane’s sauce. If we could water our lawns with it, we would.
  • Finding the news on Twitter before anyone else. Being a hipster has never felt so good.
  • Morgan Freeman’s voice. He could tell us our puppy died and we’d shake his hand.
  • Whataburger. Sorry, Big Mac, but you will always be a discount burger.
  • The Frozen soundtrack. Do you want to build a snowman? Why, yes, we do want to build a snowman.
  • Old TV shows like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Where my ‘90s kids at?
  • Open-note tests. We enjoy the feeling of knowing we don’t have to study.
  • Your one stop for all of your trivial movie knowledge that no one cares about. (The parental guides are pretty funny, too. Check the one for Wolf of Wall Street if you don’t believe us.)
  • When your significant other buys you food. So you do love us! That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
  • Mechanical pencils. Because sharpening is for chumps.