Why do we focus so much on finding romantic love?
Young people want nothing more than to find a romantic partner. Girls focus on their appearance and personal presentation, because what they view as most important is what society deems as most important: finding “love.” Society romanticizes and prioritizes romantic love over platonic love, making it confusing for people who couldn’t care less about romance, people like me.
I had to learn the hard way that dating is not something for me. Every time someone shows romantic feelings towards me, I start overthinking and breaking down. What is love supposed to feel like? How do I know if what I feel is platonic or romantic? Everyone says, “when you know you know,” but what if I don’t? Everyone around me has a partner, am I doing something wrong?
Growing up believing I’d find true love, and it will make me complete, is engraved in my brain. I don’t want to miss out on something big, so it makes me feel that romance is the only thing to strive for. We are constantly fed this idea that you need to find a life long partner, whether that be through Disney movies, social media or the people around us, but the truth is, I still don’t understand many of my feelings. I’m not sure if my feelings are genuine or if my mind is just convincing me of them, especially since I tend to hyperfixate on people. I am always unsatisfied and confused.
In previous relationships, I was given affection romantically and felt uncomfortable by it, but I still told myself it was normal — a relationship will never be perfect.. I convinced myself that the confusion I felt was normal. When it comes to friends though, it is a different story.
Throughout my journey, I realized that while romance isn’t for me, platonic love is. We as a society tend to take platonic love for granted. When I was a kid, all I knew was family and how safe and happy they made me feel.I was more than satisfied with it at the time, and that hasn’t changed. Platonic love is an important part of everyone’s lives and it should be talked about more.
My friends make me feel content about not understanding my feelings towards romance. Being satisfied with the platonic relationships I have has helped me understand that romantic love is not all there is to strive for. There’s something relieving about having a relationship that isn’t connected through romantic gestures, pet names, and fascination. There’s no pressure to “do the right things” in the relationship. My best friend and I share inside jokes, text whenever something reminds us of one another, hang out 24/7, have last minute sleepovers, and love each other on a deep level. Platonic love is something that deserves to have more light shined on it because it is, for people like me, a lot stronger and satisfying than romantic love will ever be.
