میں تم سے پیار کرتا ہوں

The waveforms of one’s heartbeat is unique to each person and beats in different rhythms throughout the day. In the same way, words beat differently around the world, consisting of 7,117 different languages. 

I grew up around people who are able to speak multiple languages, and though I may not be a mastermind in the many forms of Urdu and Hindi, I made it my goal to master the various love languages. I’m a rather loving person, and I’ve found new ways to express it every day. 

The five major love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving and acts of service. Rather than just different forms of expressing love, these love languages are different dialects, showing the same feeling in a different rhythm. People around the world speak different languages and we can’t always understand them, but that’s the beauty of it. Similarly, we all give love differently and expect it in different ways, too.

Many people face a disconnect in relationships because they don’t see eye-to-eye on how to express and receive love, which makes it even more important to truly understand ones’ love language. I’ve spent almost my entire life trying to perfect each love language so I can be there for anyone in any given circumstance and love them to my fullest. 

I was never fond of physical touch, but my grandpa would kiss me on the head and put his hand on my head every night when I went to say good night. It was his way of showing his love, and he showed it every chance he could. I saw my grandpa take his last breath and witnessed his heart stop beating when I was only 13 years old. I thought him losing his battle to cancer meant I lost all of him, but I later learned how even though he isn’t here, his love has its own unique and everlasting waveform that I find in different rhythms every day. 

Every night when I’d say goodnight to my grandparents, I’d tell them I love them. They used to be the only people I’d say that to because as a kid, I felt words of affirmation only came in that form. As I grew up, I learned the importance of reminding people how much we truly love them and how proud we are of them but also showing it. Since then, I’ve started writing letters to people I love to give them those reminders and make them feel valued. I’ve always felt that there’s something special about handwritten notes that emphasize the effort you’re willing to put in for someone. 

It took me losing someone I love to understand how much I value quality time. I would do anything for one more minute with my grandpa because nothing truly compares to spending time with someone and enjoying it for simply just that – their company and being. After losing that with someone I love dearly, I started to never take little hangouts for granted. 

My grandma has spent her entire life giving back, and my entire life teaching me the importance of it. As my biggest role model and someone who has played a huge role in raising me since day one, being able to do even a fraction of what all she has done became a goal of mine. I’ve always been a giver, and gift giving has become one of my favorite ways of expressing my love for people. However, I don’t believe in the concept of just throwing money at something. Each and every one of my gifts has some thought behind it, whether it be sentimental or something that someone has truly wanted. I try to show my love through knowing someone well enough to give them something special. 

Growing up with so many people around me gave me countless opportunities to do little things for the people I love and to learn their habits. Whether it be remembering that my best friend hates the grease on pizzas and handing her a paper towel everytime we eat pizza, or making sure my grandma has two glasses of water at her bedside because she wakes up with cramps, I’ve tried to personalize my way of caring to each individual in my life and show it through little acts of service. 

Becoming accustomed with each language has given me strong relationships in my life that stand on different things. There are very few people in my life who I say “I love you” to and even fewer I hug. With each relationship in my life being so unique, they are each valuable in their own way. Understanding the ones we love gives us a clearer path on how to love them. Every relationship in my life has its own unique and everlasting heartbeat.