83 days. 

The time between today and my first day of senior year. 

I have spent my entire life looking up to the seniors in high school, whether it was my older brother in 2013, Gabriella Montez and Troy Bolton after first watching “High School Musical” in 2018 or my best friend in 2022. In the school ecosystem, seniors are at the top of the food chain, having all the answers to the big questions in life. They’ve decided where they are going to college, what they want to do in life — all to set the precedent for their future. But, as my time approaches, I no longer see seniors as put-together professionals, but more as the same playful children I was 10 years ago.

Growing up, I’ve found myself allowing nostalgia to envelop me, almost to a fault. I first discovered I would be graduating in 2025 when I was in the third grade. Then, the year felt like a far-away reach into the future: a year filled with flying cars and personal robots. Now, we are just a few months away from starting the end of this part of our lives, and I feel awfully underprepared. The last two years have been filled with a barrage of reminders: “I only have two years left,” “I need to start thinking about what’s next,” “I’m not in middle school anymore.” Yet, those reminders feel like they have gotten me nowhere. 

Despite having heard the never-ending list of tasks that need to be completed at every turn, every day that passes is just another reminder that I am behind. In an effort to conceal the reality of me growing up, I’ve turned away from my responsibilities. However, I have been fortunate enough to have so many amazing mentors in my journey, all people who have experienced senior year – whether it be last year or 20 years ago. They have created a safe space for me to turn to them, to remind me that it’s time to grow up and help me with preparations for college applications. 

These people have been inspiring, and their advice is a guiding light at the end of the tunnel, yet there has been a different level of insight I have received from the current graduating class. They have a constant stream of thoughts regarding all situations I worry about, having just gone through the process day-by-day. As grateful as I am for being able to take over the helm of “the graduating class” from this year’s current seniors, I will miss them in a way words can not define. In the groups of people I surround myself with, there is at least one senior — one person I won’t see, won’t wave to in the hallways, won’t talk with in class. It’s been an interesting feeling, knowing the very people who were some of my most constant peers won’t be returning in 83 days. 

Now that I have begun to fully process the gravity of the situation, there is one thing that fills my head: college applications. It is the topic I can’t seem to push out of the atmosphere. Despite all the research and all the preparation, I know I will not be able to easily complete what I need to do. Truthfully, the entire application process is the most daunting part of my senior year, and despite not knowing what exactly it will bring, I hope I can inspire someone the same way the seniors before me did. 

Senior year won’t be easy; I know that. However, I feel eternally grateful to be blessed with mentors and friends to support my journey through the black hole that will be opening in 83 days. That 83 days will turn into 283, where the last day of my journey here will be over, and begin somewhere completely different.