Young and Free: A progressive view on marriage


[vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]My friends and I sat in the corner of the mosque, whispering about life, ambitions and goals.

“How do you feel about marriage?” someone voiced out.

A chorus of dissent emanated among us. My friend then timidly asked, “What’s so bad about getting married?” The others glanced at each other, answer evident on our faces: Marriage is overrated.

According to my family’s standards, marriage is “settling down” in all senses of the term. Not only that, but my partner in life is chosen for me. There are expectations that I, as a female, may have to set aside in order to tend to the house, care for my children and cook dinner for a breadwinner husband.

Such a picture goes against every fiber of my being: I have goals. I have ambitions. I have plans to be successful, to travel the world and to live my life like I want. My family argues that I can still do that while being married, but I disagree. I’m far too independent and voracious. To drag someone I barely know into a life like that is unfair.

Telling this to my grandparents caused quite a commotion: “You are such an able girl,” they say. “How could you be so selfish in not marrying?” These arguments spring up in almost every conversation, but I feel so unprepared to be a wife.

My future plans map out at least the next 10 years of my life, and marriage is at the bottom of my priority list. Many of my friends have marriage plans in the next five years and some are even set to be engaged. Perhaps they will even have children before I get married. But for me, there is still too much in store.

Maybe somewhere along the way, someone will knock on the door to my heart, take my hand and whisk me away. And it will throw a wrench in my plans.

But until then, que sera, sera, and may fate lead me where it may.