I have always been told it is important to be independent, simply because relying on others is “unhealthy.”
Throughout my life, I constantly dealt with issues on my own and built a fence around my mind. It wasn’t until the start of my freshman year of high school, nine months after I lost three family members in the span of six months, that I learned the importance of having a strong support system.
Mental health can be a constant and tough battle, unique to each person, but it isn’t something that should be dealt with alone. Having a support system can reduce both depression and anxiety, and goes hand-in-hand with having a healthy well being. After losing my grandpa, I had constant battles with my mind and I dealt with them alone. I thought depending on others made me “weak” and was an “unhealthy” thing to do, but in reality, the second I found the people who had my best interest at heart, I started healing from a year of hardships.
Having the right people by my side helped me find a healthy way to cope. It gave me a sense of comfort I never imagined. If I didn’t break down my walls, I never would’ve opened up and healed. Grief is something everyone goes through in a certain way, but that’s the point: it’s different for every single person. What I experienced isn’t anywhere near the same as what people in my own family experienced. To me, that’s the part that makes a good support system such a crucial part of our lives.
Asking for help, talking to others, being open and dependent on people isn’t unhealthy or toxic — it’s brave and courageous. It takes a lot to recognize that you are going through a rough time and that you need help. The fact that humans live such different lives, but have the empathy to support others is what makes life so beautiful.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s support system will look different. For some, it’s their family, and for others, it’s their closest friends, but finding the right support system can take time. It took me 14 years to find out that my family isn’t the only source of support I have, and I’ve never been more grateful now.
I am the eldest daughter in my family, and putting others first while simultaneously blocking out my own emotions has become second nature to me. The journey to balance being there for others and myself, while also being able to confide in others, has helped me heal.
It’s OK to ask for help, it’s OK to depend on the right people and it’s OK to not be OK. Life is truly a rollercoaster, and there are many twists and turns, but group rides are always better than going solo for a reason. Reach out to people because being there for others is important, but so is letting others do the same for you.
