Dear me,

Congratulations, you survived.

Don’t play dumb, you thought newspaper might kill you. You legitimately thought that if you messed up you would die of embarrassment and shame. You’re still here and breathing. However, I’d be lying if I told you that you didn’t mess up, because you did. A lot.

You broke down and cried multiple times throughout the year because of the stress of deadlines. You went home and punched pillows because a source wouldn’t respond no matter what you tried. You went home wondering if everybody on staff hated you because you went another cycle without getting a “main” story completed. Newspaper was supposed to be your main thing. Everybody else had friends in band, on student council or some other school extracurricular. You weren’t in anything freshman year, so you were determined to “earn your place on the school paper. In your mind, if you didn’t prove to everybody there that you could handle it, you would fail and you would be alone.

You thought everything you wrote was garbage in comparison to everybody else. Actually, you thought everything you did was garbage compared to everybody else. You always had a problem with constantly comparing yourself to everybody around you. While you are still working on it, you’ve learned how to make the voice in your head stop echoing every moment you’re in the newsroom. You won a Best of SNO award back in March for your feature on teacher Mrs. Friend. While you didn’t win anything, you had the guts to compete in Nashville at the NSPA/JEA convention and the district journalism UIL. In my opinion, that says more about you than winning or losing ever did.

Thanks to newspaper, you are braver. You went out of state without your parents for the first time because you wanted to go make memories with the other writers. While that trip had ups-and-downs, it gave you a taste of true independence for the first time. You went to Austin in April for the state journalism convention. That trip was an absolute blast simply because at that point, you’d opened up to most people on staff and actually knew people. You always loved writing, but you took it to new lengths because The Hawk Eye made you.

It was hard. Newspaper is one of the most difficult responsibilities you’ve ever taken up, because the stories you publish aren’t about your personal success. They are about The Hawk Eye as a whole and how the story makes the publication better. In that, you found the first thing that truly made you feel like you were a part of the team.

You never had to prove yourself. You never had to take this on like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. Every staff member helps you carry the load in ways you never could’ve imagined. You may have felt a lot of loneliness- but you were never alone.

You’ve always been somebody who loved writing. However, it was more of a recreational hobby than something you were actually dedicated to. Newspaper made writing go from a pastime to a part of your life. You’ve always been anxious and unconfident. While you still are, when it comes to writing and reporting, your confidence in your work and your interviewing has soared. Your ability to talk to people and ask good questions through interviewing is something you never thought you’d have. Now, you’re able to casually email and ask for interviews with people you never would’ve approached a year ago. While your writing itself has improved, the true difference has been in your confidence. 

Next year, you’ll be the editor for the news section. I’m sure a part of you is terrified of failing, just like you always are. Though, they wouldn’t have put you there if they didn’t think you could take it. Don’t give yourself imposter syndrome like you always have. Instead, focus on how you’re going to help the new reporters not think the way you did. Focus on how you are going to keep working and be the best editor you can be for the paper. Most importantly, focus on not being so hard on yourself. You can do it.

From, 

Juliana 

News Editor

The Hawk Eye