“Are you a real girl?”
“No wonder we’re losing.”
“You’re actually pretty good for a girl.”
I’ve been playing video games ever since I could remember, and these are the comments that’ve stuck with me.
I was introduced to online video games through my brother at a young age, but that also meant introducing me to a world full of discrimination. It started off with “are you a girl or young boy?” and “can you speak on the mic again?” followed by gross comments.
Because I was so young, it was hard for me to comprehend what they meant. As I became more exposed to the world and started to understand, I decided to stop using the voice chat option until I climbed to a “better,” “respected” rank.
Only 28% of girls who play online video games reported using voice chat compared to 70% of boys. There’s no question that girls and boys receive different experiences. I’ve connected with many girls through our common interest of playing games, and all of them have had multiple encounters with misogyny.
Although the number of women in the gaming community is growing to represent 48% of worldwide gamers in 2025, it doesn’t mean the misogyny and discrimination has stopped.
Not only does this affect women, but it also affects other men in the community. Those who choose to defend a girl against misogyny are met with insults of being a “white-knight” or a “simp” and are cast out of the team. It becomes hard to combat misogyny if the majority doesn’t speak up.
It’s difficult for others to understand how a girl feels when a stranger who is meant to be a teammate treats them differently because of their gender. It took me several years in the gaming community to speak in the voice chat without my hands sweating or voice shaking. I have become insensitive to hurtful words over time, but there are many out there who give up completely.
When coming across a player who is being blatantly – or subtly – discriminatory towards a girl, it’s important to say something. Allowing it to happen is also a part of the problem. As women in the gaming community grow, their presence needs to be normalized to create a comfortable atmosphere for all.
Gender does not determine skill, and the pitch of someone’s voice does not determine competence.
