Even though 636 days sounds like an eternity, it’s a small gap between my brother and I.

When I was born, my brother was only a year and eight months old. He couldn’t say much other than “mama” and “papa,” but when he saw me for the first time, he gave me a nickname that will stick forever — Nana. 

Although he didn’t know it then, “Nana” became a staple in my household. That moment was just the start of his lasting imprint on me.

When we were toddlers we’d watch DVD’s all day long. We were attached at the hip, so when we dropped him off on his first day of school, I brought my lunch box expecting to go with him. When my parents waved goodbye to him, I was devastated, holding my empty lunch box.

On my first day of kindergarten, I didn’t cry for my mom or dad. Instead, I felt safe knowing my brother was in the same building as me. When recess came, I spent the entire 30-minute period yelling out his name in search of him throughout the playground. I sadly learned each grade level had a different recess schedule.

In middle school, I had a hard time finding my place and my people. One summer, my brother showed me “Hunter x Hunter,” a 148 episode TV show that took over our summer break. I fell in love with the show and our bond tightened even more.

Until then, I hadn’t realized everything he enjoyed became something I enjoyed.

Just like how we’d watch the same DVD’s, he introduced me to a wide array of media. As we grew up he gave me more bits and pieces of his favorite music, shows and video games that became mine. Instead of copying his every move, he helped me branch off and find my own taste. For example, he introduced me to j-rock, which eventually led me to discover alternative rock, math rock and indie rock. The community I made through these hobbies and similar interests are all thanks to my first best friend.

Without him, I wouldn’t be the person I am today; he makes up the layers of my personality, interests and decisions.

Now that we’re older and have our own responsibilities, I miss those simple moments watching TV or listening to albums with him. Those moments will soon be even harder to recall with me going off to college. Having to be hundreds of miles away from my best friend is something I’ll have to go through as I leave for college in Oklahoma. 

He knew how it felt to live without me for 636 days, but I’ve never experienced life without him. With this perspective, I will always be grateful for his presence in all the phases of my life, no matter what challenges I face.